Sleeping Alone
by soozeh
Summary: John collapsed onto the bed next to Rodney and gasped. ‘That good huh?’ Rodney said smugly. JohnRodney Slash.


**Title:** 4 Times Rodney didn't want to sleep alone and one time he did.  
**Fandom:** Stargate Atlantis  
**Characters:** John/Rodney  
**Word Count:** 1170  
**Rating:** PG15  
**Summary: **_John collapsed onto the bed next to Rodney and gasped. 'That good huh?' Rodney said smugly._

**4 Times Rodney didn't want to sleep alone and one time he did. **

One. 

'Sheppard. I do not want to know.' Rodney muttered as John marched into his quarters and stood at the end of the bed. Rodney was lying on his side, trying to block out the day's events. 

'They were just doing their jobs.' John defended. 

'Yeah and their jobs got men killed. It nearly got you killed.' Rodney sat up. 'Do you know what I would've done if you'd have died?' 

John met Rodney's eyes with his own and they stared at each other for the briefest of moments before John looked away. He walked round to his side of the bed and gently lay down next to Rodney. 

Rodney shuffled over allowing John space on the relatively small bed. John turned on his side, facing Rodney; he hesitated for a moment before reaching his hand out towards Rodney's chest. 

Rodney sighed and moved nearer to John. 

'Relax McKay. I'm not going anywhere.' 

Two. 

It was a usual Saturday afternoon. No missions. No crises. The normal routine of John bothering Rodney for the whole day was once again put into play. Rodney claimed he wanted to be alone with his important procedures and protocols but John had insisted he stay and as usual, he had bugged the hell out of McKay. Rodney had yelled and stamped his feet and threw things at John, who meekly retreated to the commissary for some comfort food. John kept telling himself that it wasn't their first domestic; it was just… trouble at the office. 

John had found him hours later and was met with the same bluntness. He gave up his act after only minutes and went back to their room. 

It was the early hours of the morning when Rodney finally came stumbling in. John mumbled a sleepy hello and crawled over towards John. John rested his head on Rodney's chest and began drifting back to sleep. 

A few seconds after Rodney's fidgeting had stopped, John finally began to get some sleep, only to be interrupted by Rodney's voice. 

'I'm sorry about today, things were just… they were getting on top of me. I should've made time for you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm glad you were here when I got home. I'm glad you didn't let me sleep alone.' 

Three. 

John collapsed onto the bed next to Rodney and gasped. 

'That good huh?' Rodney said smugly. 

John turned on his side and smiled at Rodney. 'You're so up yourself.' 

'But you love that.' 

'Yes… Yes I do.' 

Rodney smiled and John shuffled over to him. 

A few minutes later, John was groaning and Rodney was tugging at the duvet and then John's hands were tugging back just as hard. Rodney sat up. 

'Will you stop fighting with me over the duvet?' 

'You started it.' 

'Oh how immature.' 

John sat up and pulled on some boxers. 'Fine, I'll be on the couch.' 

'John… That is the most uncomfortable place to sleep in the entire city. Just come back to bed.' 

'Why? You'll be much happier with the quilt **_all_** to yourself won't you?' 

'No… I need you. When I'm with you it's like I don't have to worry about what we do and what we are and what will happen.' 

John moved silently across the room and got back into bed. 

Four. 

Failed Plans, failed missions, all they ever seemed to do was fail. Their mission had gone wrong again and McKay had had to single-handedly shoot them all out of there. He'd managed to graze John's left leg with a flying bullet and he was useless at laying down cover fire, hence the many casualties. 

McKay didn't say a word after shakily stepping through the gate after the mission. He'd looked up at Elizabeth with glassy eyes and told her to lock the planet out of their system and then he'd stormed off to his quarters. 

Sheppard had shouted up at Elizabeth and told her that it was his first mission where he'd been the one, the only one, that had had to shoot the natives in order to save them, and even though he had inadvertently saved their collective asses he still felt like shit. He was a scientist. Scientists didn't have to fire guns. 

John had found Rodney in the first place he had looked. Rodney was lying on the single bed in his old room, huddled up in the foetal position, head buried in the sheet. His P90 and his tactical vest still securely fastened round him. 

'Thought I'd find you here.' John said softly. 

'Go away.' 

'I brought you some food, you haven't eaten since we headed out this morning.' 

Rodney turned his back to face John and whispered, 'I'm not cut out for all this shit.' 

Rodney felt the bed dip as John sat down and he sighed. 

'C'mere.' John's hands were on his arm and his hip and the next thing he knew he was on his back and John was unzipping his vest. Rodney lay still and allowed him to do it. 

'I never did thank you.' John said quietly. 

'Forget it. You would have done it for me.' 

'Yeah but I'm trained to fight, you're trained to solve algebraic equations and work out formulae. What you… what you did back there McKay, that was heroic – almost.' 

'I saved you but at what cost? Their lives? I shot and I killed.' 

'You had to.' 

'I guess I never thought about the fighting part of it when I signed up for this job.' 

John sighed and pulled Rodney half on top him, he kissed his head and they both lay silent, trying to wipe the days events from their tired minds. 

Five. 

As hard as he tried, he just couldn't hold in all the emotion anymore. Koyla had John and Elizabeth had allowed him to keep him. No rescue missions planned, no idea where he was and no way of getting him home. 

Rodney had watched a Wraith suck the life out of his lover and he'd had to hide the fact he was hurting ten times more than everyone else. He loved that cocky flyboy and it was tearing him up inside seeing John's life being torn away. 

The team had gathered in the control room and were calmly waiting for Koyla's next transmission. Ronon and Teyla whispered amongst themselves, Elizabeth paced. Zelenka ran countless unneeded data checks just to pass the time and Rodney found himself staring at the blank screen just waiting for John's face to appear once again. 

Elizabeth patted Rodney's shoulder as she walked past him. 'You okay Rodney?' 

Rodney was silent for a few moments. 'No… No I'm not.' 

He stood. 'I think I'm gonna go to our, er… I'm just gonna go get some rest. There's nothing I can do is there Elizabeth?' 

She shook her head sadly. 'Not this time.' 

Rodney nodded and walked off quickly, he only hoped Elizabeth had missed the single tear that had rolled down his cheek when he had nodded. 

-fin- 


End file.
